On Day 8....

So for those of you who don't know, I have finally mustered up the courage (and the $60) to purchase a heinous, but rather effective, pharmaceutical drug known as Zyban and attempt the daunting task of qutting smoking! Yup, I've had ten wonderful long years with my little friend, but as the saying goes: all good things must end. Just Kidding (sort of). It's true that I will miss parts of smoking, nicotine being a major contributer to that needy feeling. There were many good times in my life that are heavily associated with smoking: playing cards with my girlfriends, good gossip convo's with co-workers, walking squares with the boys in jail and reaching a common ground with the hellion teens I've worked with. But I finally came to the realization that I do not need a white tube packed full of flesh eating chemicals to do those things. So, with the help of my addiction's master fiance, I embarked on the next chapter of my life....

Three weeks of Pure Hell (as I now like to refer to it). However, it should be made clear that this is merely a pit stop on my road to recovery and leading a healthy, whole life once again(like the one I had before I left the continent and was evilly influenced by German rocker teens to whom smoking was a religion.) But that's neither here nor there. I lit the first fag and I take full responsibility for my addiction (spoken like a true AA/NA junkie).

But let me tell you a little about Zyban: the wonder drug that has helped millions of people world wide regain control of their lives and quit smoking with confidence, joy and ease.........

It's the Devil! Smoking was not nerely as bad for me as these little chemical packed purple pills that alter reality, making you a starving crazed insomniac. That's why they work. They mess you up so much that you don't remember what smoking is. Your brain's like "wow dude, what the hell are you putting into my lungs", while your other brain's like "wow dude, I need more, I NEED MORE!!!!!!!

Granted the ammonia, pesticides, acids, tar and other nasty chemicals that smoking leaves in the pink capillaries of your lungs is horrible and has long-term effects, but this is just evil.
You know how some pharmaceutical drugs tell you not drive heavy machinery, or mix alcohol while taking the medicine? Well, Zyban should read: "Don't leave your home, attempt to have any meaningful conversations, DEFINATELY DO NOT GO TO WORK, and don't make any important decisions while taking Zyban". And that's all fine and dandy if you only have to take the damn things for a few days, but they recommend 12 weeks to 6 months. I have already made an ass out of myself on numerous occasions and have had to call in "sick" to work, but explain that really I felt like I was high and I didn't think that working with addicts would be the best place for me. Yea, you think?! In six months, I would have no job, no apartment, no friends, but hey at least I wouldn't be a smoker, right?!

Well, the drug is an anti-depressant. That should have been my first clue. Who knows what long-term damage this stuff will do to me, but for now I guess I have to live with the sleepless nights, eatless days, sizzled neurons and lack of emotion, cuz I haven't smoked in 8 days and no randomn beatings or acts of property destruction have occurred. Victoria is safe.

But I suppose it's worth it. I just keep reminding myself of the money I will be saving, the flesh in my lungs that will retain its colour, the food that will be savoured and the warmth that I will enjoy forevermore as I will no longer have to brave the cold in order to get my 'kick'.

It's only day 8......