Today First, Tomorrow Second

So, I've recently realized that it's almost two months to the day that I will become a married woman, a wife, a life partner - whatever word there is used to describe being betrothed to another person. It truly is a time in life that should be celebrated and remembered.

Over the last few weeks some things have happened in my relationship but also with others' around me that have caused me to really think about the meaning of marriage and what it means to be committed to another person. I have no doubt that every couple who enter into that partnership have battled with themselves, with God, with doubt. I suppose that should happen - in a way it makes it more real and more raw.

But I also wonder how many people actually understand that 'in sickness and in health' really means in SICKNESS AND in health. If my dad had been diagnosed with cancer months before my mom and him were to get married and he was given an 20% chance of surviving I'm sure my mom might have contemplated whether or not she wanted to marry him. Why would you want to go through such pain? If you had a choice, I'm sure many people would opt out. But he didn't - it was 30 years later and I doubt there was ever a thought in my mom's mind at that point about whether or not she would stay with my dad through his illness.

Dustin and I have certainly had our obstacles and I have all the faith in the world that there are many to come - but I guess the beautiful thing that I've come to realize is that I have made a choice to love him and be his partner in spite of all the shit that's thrown our way. And it doesn't matter to me whether I have a ring on my finger or I have the same last name as him - all of that is secondary to the commitment I made almost two years when marriage was still something I thought I'd never do.

God certainly has a plan and he definately knows how to test your ability to stick with it. But at the end of the day - it's the end of the day and you can sleep.