Change is inevitable, but growth is a choice. This may just help me make up my mind.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Transformation

A few weeks ago I sat amongst my 'soul sisters', as I like to call them, in a circle on transformation. These soul sisters are women who have come into my life through a mutual activity: going to prison. We range in age (20's to 60's); we range in beliefs (some are christians, some are wiccan, some are buddhists and some are just themselves); we range in life experiences (those cannot be bracketed); and we are all on a different path in our life journey's.

We decided about a year ago to start this women's circle where we meet, eat and share as we found that there were many things we were not able to address in prison (deep female stuff, you know). So, we began meeting every few months and these cirlces have become such an incredible blessing and joy in my life, much because of those who sit with me but also because of the healing that comes from heartspeak with my fellow sisters. Each circle has a different keeper and a different topic. We start off with a smudge and a prayer and then go around the circle sharing, laughing, crying whatever our heart speaks to, until our stomachs hurt from laughing, our tear ducts are dried out and we feel as though we've shared to the extent we were willing.

This last circle, I was the keeper and I chose the topic of transformation because it is endless, exciting, and everyone can speak to it in some form. I look at myself and in my ways I see a butterfly, certainly not because I'm particularly graceful or nice to look at, but because the butterfly is a pure representation of transformation, and that is something I do not lack in my life. I have transformed in many ways throughout my life, but not so much as I have in the last three years. Like the lines on my hands, my soul remains constant, that I cannot change; however, those lines have deepened and curved and stretched, much like my values, my beliefs and my dreams.


It's a beautiful thing to know that you are not stagnant. That you are capable of movement and growth. Perhaps a stagnant mind is as dangerous an element as stagnant water, but some find comfort in their stability and sometimes purifying water can be too much work. I on the other hand loathe monotony and I have never bought Britta.

The power of transformation is always at hand, but at times it can be difficult to grab hold of it and allow it to move through you. In times of strife and conflict transformation seems to come more easily, perhaps because you're forced to change in order to survive. For me the true beauty of this power is held in my ability to know and truly believe that people can change, hearts can be healed, beliefs can be molded. We are merely puddy in the hands of God. That is where my peace is found.

Autumn